[ IC INBOX ] labyrinthum

[hexcorized]

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[malleiform]

[ He notices the look away, but it's a thought, an observation, for another time. He'll let Viktor have it for now, since the conversation could alter everything about how they interact with each other here. It matters to him that this time he gives Viktor the agency. He lets him decide. Finally, he finishes strapping in the final strap on Viktor's thigh, then a gentle tap to signal that he's done.

He gets up, finally, shifting to move into a chair so they can talk without being next to each other. Intentionally creating a space, a bubble, around Viktor. Room to breathe and process. For every impulse he has to smother Viktor with affection, it's challenging for him to not do it. He's going to be as concise as possible about this entire series of events, he thinks. He wants to ensure that he gives the story without any fluffy details. ]

After your prognosis, we searched and searched for a cure. A way to help you and heal you. Anything we could do to help. It wasn't going well, and Heimerdinger tried to stop us at every turn. He tried to use his power on the Council to put our work to a stop.

[ He folds his hands and settles them into his lap. This is the first big revelation. ]

So I -- forced him into retirement. I took it from him. [ For Viktor. ] I won us freedom but it didn't matter because things spiraled after that. You sought out help in the Undercity.

[ They had fought about it. He doesn't mention that to Viktor, though. He doesn't think he needs to - they know each other well enough for Viktor to know Jayce had some intense feelings about it without saying anything. ]

I -- there's some things I don't know exactly what happened. But you tried to use the Hexcore. And I wasn't there. I was busy. I was always busy. I went to the Undercity with Cait's -- [ What even is Vi to her? ] Someone important to Cait - Vi. We went there to seek out Silco. It wasn't pretty, either. I killed someone - a child there.

[ It still haunts him. He hesitates to continue. ]

I saw what could happen. When I returned home to you, you made me promise to destroy the Hexcore. You didn't want me to use it anymore in pursuit of healing you. And I promised you I would. I didn't want to. But I did. [ A hesitation. ]

So instead, I reached out to meet with Silco. I reached out to broker peace with him. And we put it before the council. Oh, they hated it. But we were going to get it -- and I swear -- I thought that day that the fighting might end. We might be able to free Zaun. We were so close.

But then -- Jinx. She [ An exhale. A pause. He grips his legs with his hands and looks up to Viktor again. His eyes locked onto the other's face. Watching him. It's clear that this was the moment. ] the Council Room got blown away. Turned to rubble. Mel -- Mel saved me but you. She has magic, you know? She put up a shield around me. You weren't so lucky. It should have been me. If she had saved you instead of me. [ He wishes it were him. It should have been him. ]

You were bleeding out in my arms, Viktor. And then the thought of the little time you had left being cut even shorter. It wasn't acceptable. So instead of destroying the Hexcore. [ And here it is. ] I used it on you with the help of your notes. And I waited. And I waited and I hoped more than anything that you would come back to me -- us. [ He doesn't even try to hide the selfish nature of it. ]

And you did. But you were different. You were so different. And you weren't happy with me...I mean, obviously. I broke a pretty big promise. [ He doesn't mention Skye's death because honestly -- he doesn't want to give Viktor guilt over it. Jayce doesn't blame him for it, anyway. ] So you left.

[ And he'll stop, give Viktor time to process this - it's a lot of new information, after all. And it's not just about his ability to follow a story, but it's a lot to emotionally process, as well. ]

[hexcorized]

You...went against Heimerdinger, for me? [ There is so much that Jayce is saying that Viktor almost can't compute. He knows from his touch with the arcane at the hexgates something was...different, he was different, in that moment. The hexcore calling to him like a siren, drawing him in with its song of change and improvement to his eroding body. He has to wonder why he has given up on himself. What would cause him to want to destroy something that could potentially save his life?

He sees now why it did what it did. A vessel, perhaps? To gain a will and extend its force, its influence. Viktor has never had much agency or choice in his life, his death was destined well before he was even born. His jaw tightens as he watches Jayce before looking away. The betrayal that he hasn't even experienced makes his chest hurt, and the fact that he now knows he will die from an explosion, no less, and Jayce is unable to accept it, so much so that the thought of using something like the hexcore on him was his only choice left.

Upon hearing such a revelation, he almost can't accept it himself, but somehow he can see it. His life was always meant to be cut short, regardless of how or why. His expression is uncertain, angry for a fleeting moment, before it shifts into something neutral. His voice is soft when he finally does find the words to speak.

It's so much that it might almost be too much. His grip on his crutch is tense, knuckles white from the pressure he's exerting. His mind reeling as he tries to absorb and take all of this in. But he had asked before this conversation about what had happened to them both, and now he finally got his answer, but he also has more questions. ]

I died. [ It's said with such acceptance and finality that it makes the air run cold. Of course, he's already died here, so the thought of dying back home isn't so surprising anymore to him. Maybe dying in that explosion would be quick, unlike his time here, where he was gasping and drowning in his blood as blooms of flowers pierced his lungs. Or perhaps his death was even worse back home. ]

You broke a promise, and took my life into your own hands when I was ready and willing to accept death. You...never could, could you, Jayce? Accept my limited time. But I never considered that you would...go so far. [ His tone is somber and shaky as he continues. ]

Of course I would be angry. [ A pause as he looks down at the floor. ]

What happens then? After I left?

[malleiform]

[ Jayce watches as Viktor's expression changes, trying to take in and figure out what each shift means. What it means for what Viktor is feeling or what he's going to do. Jayce wants to know what he's going to do, if he's going to leave again. He has every right to. He has every right to be angry. He has every right to be hurt.

But Jayce still feels bad about it. He hates when Viktor's upset with him and he's hurting because of something he'd done. Even worse when he's angry at him. But he knows he deserves it, he's not in denial about what he took part in - he's not deny8ing he willfully went against Viktor's wishes with the hope that he would keep the most previous person in his life alive, even if for only a moment longer.

A life without Viktor just sounds unbearable to him. And the longer he's been gone from Jayce's life, the more he understands it. And then Viktor asks. He catches his breath, feeling words caught in his throat. ]

What we made was hurting the Undercity. Taking whatever they had. We were making the runes angry in Piltover and the Undercity was paying for it. When we checked on the core of it all - I got pulled to that other world. [ He looks down, staring at the floor. He no longer wants to look Viktor in the eyes as pieces together the parts that are important. ]

That world where Piltover and Zaun were nothing. When I finally got out...I met the mage who saved me as a kid. It had to have been months. I don't know, I didn't keep track of it. But a long time. Long enough that even when I got back a lot had changed. [ He moves his fingers over the rune in his wrist. ]

You already know that the mage did this to me. But... [ Another piece of the confession. ] My time there. It's not just how I look, or when I seem -- different. I see and hear things all the time. Whispers and images. I was sure you weren't real when I got here. [ Hmm...anyway. ]

The mage told me to end it. So...I did, I thought. But it's not over. When I go home, I have to finish what I started. We have to. And I'm going to do anything I can to bring you back so we can. [ The parts that Viktor needs to know, he thinks, are said. Because even if he had killed Viktor in that commune, Viktor hadn't really died. He was back again. In a way, at least. ]

But ultimately...yes. You died. Right there in the Council Room because anything after that wasn't you. [ But, he also wants to make something - one thing - painfully clear. ]

Viktor, I want you to understand something. I would do anything to keep you alive and by my side. Anything. [ Including the things he did already. He doesn't think he needs to repeat them. ]

I would do anything to have you back because that's the only thing I've wanted and I was too caught up in everything to realize it while you were alive. But the thought of a world without you was unbearable. And I guess part of me knew I could deal with a you who was angry at me rather than no you at all.

[ There's something else on the tip of his tongue, the words linger. But he wants to give Viktor a chance to hear him. A chance to reject him. ]

[hexcorized]

Jayce... [ It's so much and Viktor can see the conviction and pain in Jayce's eyes, his expression, it's unlike anything he's ever seen before if he's being honest, and it terrifies him. He doesn't understand it, for once, he doesn't understand Jayce's reasoning or conviction at all. Or, well, perhaps he does in a way. Of course, he had saved the other man's life, saved him from the ledge that he was so convinced of stepping off from. But that isn't the only reason, and Viktor is still trying to parse it together. There are so many things he wants to discuss, the voices and visions Jayce sees, the effects their work was having on Zaun. But right now he needs to understand Jayce and his reasoning for doing everything he says he has done in the future. He finally gets up from his seat and walks towards the other, wobbling ever so slightly as he adjusts to his new brace.

But why? It's the only question plaguing his mind since this conversation started. Why go through all of this? Why him? Why any of it?? When Jayce could have been content with someone like Mel Medarda? Another pause, another step towards the other. ] You say that it's unbearable without me, but you were never in the lab after you were put on the Council. [ You left me alone to pick up the pieces of our dream. While you tried to appease everyone around you. It is the unspoken words that hang in between them. ]

I don't understand, Jayce. [ A pause as he finally looks back at Jayce. ] Why would you do all of this...for me? I-I am certain that you and Ms. Medarda would have been perfectly fine and content with one another.

[ Why not just forget him then? Is the unspoken statement that hangs in the air between them. Their relationship had just begun to blossom from the point of Viktor's arrival here. He couldn't understand why Jayce would be so adamant with him of all people. He was nothing special, just a cripple from the Undercity, sallow skin, crooked spine, dreadful eyebags, closed off to a fault and difficult at times too, not to mention a leg that didn't work. He was everything people would not find desirable, something to be discarded, a lost cause with a ticking clock counting down his remaining days. Then there was Mel Medarda, a shining beacon of confidence, perfection, and life. She could have given Jayce everything he needed and more. So...why? Why did he persist? ] Why me?

[ He hates how small his voice sounds, how his body curls in on itself as he stands before the other, his eyes looking anywhere but at Jayce. ]

[malleiform]

Viktor... [ He answers in kind. His attention lifts, watching as Viktor moves. Watching his leg, making sure the brace works for him out of instinct. Seeing that it does, his attention shifts upwards to Viktor. He's right, of course. Jayce did basically abandon him for the Council. And he hated it - he was miserable working for the Council. But he had started doing it because he had thought it would help their dream.

But it doesn't really matter, does it? It doesn't matter what his reasoning was because he had left Viktor behind long before Viktor had left him. And it's awful, if he thinks about it. He had a lot of atoning to do for everything.

And then there's Mel. He mentions her and it stings a little. Maybe in another life he could have been happy with her. A life where he hadn't been remade with months of loneliness. A time when he didn't have to rebuild himself piece by piece. Where he didn't have to think about how hurt he had been by the way his relationship with her evolved, and how he hurt her in kind. A relationship that didn't even exist now, broken by his paranoia and frustration. ]

Maybe if everything was different. [ If he hadn't made the choices he did. If he could have stood the thought of living without Viktor. If he had the ability to move on and mourn properly. But, even with all of her good intentions, he still felt used. ] But not as they are now.

[ There's a calmness to him when he says that. As if he's accepted that this is his reality. There's something so simple that Viktor's not seeing, Jayce thinks. Or maybe he has convinced himself it's something else. His voice gets quiet. He is wringing his hands together. A shaky inhale - then a slow exhale. This part is harder for him. Years of affection, yearning, want - need to be by Viktor's side. The unwavering affection from Jayce, persistent as he always is with anything he does. ]

Why...you?

[ Why not him? If only Viktor could experience himself the way Jayce experiences him. From the way that he feels just being near him, to seeing the way that he interacts with the world. ]

Viktor...[ Quietly. He's going to say what needs to be said. The air feels like it's suffocating him. And maybe saying the most honest thing he has in his mind will help. Maybe not. He doesn't know. ]

Because I love you so much I would trade anything for you.

[ And he thought the words would feel lighter, but there's a heaviness to how earnest he's being. ]

[hexcorized]

[ I love you Viktor's breath seizes in his throat and his heart begins to hammer in his chest anew as those words just fall out of Jayce's mouth so easily, with such certainty and earnesty that it makes Viktor dizzy. Those three words he's been dying, longing to hear for over seven years, and nothing could ever prepare him for Jayce's admission to it.

He immediately thinks about how he's broken, diseased, dying and undeserving of it, especially from Jayce. His eyes burn, and his throat hurts as his voice comes out as barely a whisper. There is this look of pain, love, and agony in his eyes because even knowing what he knows now and what they went through, Jayce can still say this with such conviction that it makes his chest hurt. ] You actually...mean that?

[ He's so confused, so conflicted, his head and his heart a mess. His voice is hoarse as he fights back the urge to look Jayce in the eyes, his stance much the same, but he does draw his crutch closer to his chest. His hands are shaking ever so slightly as he does so.

It all makes so much sense now why Jayce did what he did. Out of desperation, out of devotion, out of love. It was overwhelming because of the things Jayce had, had endured, due to his love for him. He lets out a short gasp of air as he remembers to breathe, and he'll cough slightly with the sudden exertion. ] I. I don't-

[ What does he even say?? ] I never realized. [ Or even considered it. Of course, there were mutual looks of attraction, but they were short, fleeting things that Viktor never pegged Jayce to commit towards. And his yearning, gods, whenever he could get the chance, he would stare at Jayce's sculpted, perfect features for as long as he was permitted before the other noticed or turned his way again.

His inability to say or open up about his own flames of desire was due to being smothered by the oppressive nature of Piltover, their work, their dream, but most of all Viktor's self-perceived inadequacies. He could never put that in jeopardy for his selfish wants and needs. ] With someone...like me.

[ He's been wanting to hear those words for seven years, and now that he has his own fear of not being enough, not living up to expectations, threatens to drown him under the crushing waves of anxiety and self-hatred. And for once, he is so very self-conscious now standing in front of Jayce that he can feel the heat rising up from his neck to give some semblance of life to his pale features. It was all too much. ]

[malleiform]

[ He doesn't really know what to make of Viktor's reaction. He just watches him, listens to him. He had opened up his chest and put his heart out on display like this. And despite how he usually has his heart on his sleeve, he's always held tightly onto his feelings for Viktor. In part, because he hadn't really known he had them. It was in his absence that Jayce really realized the extent of it.

Of course Viktor never realized. How could he know something Jayce himself didn't?

He had always loved Viktor in his way. His adoration and admiration showed on his face quite often. But this love is different and he recognized it only after he spent those months alone - with nothing but time and his thoughts to accompany his loneliness. In that time he wondered - how long had he felt that way. And he never got an answer. But it had to have been quite a long time for Viktor's absence to hurt the way that it did.

And to see him here, those feelings surged so violently it ached. But he didn't want to just give Viktor his love without him having all the information to make his own choice. If the information were the reason he would be rejected, then at least he has it now. ]

I mean it. Breathe -- please.

[ Of course he meant it. He said it because he meant it.]

That's what this is now. It's the truth. That means this is the truth.

[ He catches something in Viktor's words. The implication of them all. He reaches for Viktor's hand. He misses their touches. Jayce had always used them as something of a lifeline. ]

Like you? [ Viktor. Viktor. ] You're so much more than what you see, Viktor. And I know you don't see what I do. But I guess the sun doesn't know how brightly it shines, but that doesn't mean we don't feel it. That's what it's like being near you. It's all brilliance and warmth that so many won't look directly at, but once I did I don't want to look away.

[ His eyes are soft, earnest, sincere. Full of words that he's trying to find in the hopes that Viktor will at least hold onto something small. So instead, he just speaks. He says everything that he can think of. Something has to stick. Viktor has to accept something as reality. ]

You're worth every second I've spent with you and that I've yet to spend with you.

[ His voice shakes. ]

I just wish you could see what I see.

[hexcorized]

[ Viktor is willing himself not to cough, not shake so much when Jayce reaches for his hand, which he allows the other to take with a small wince as he listens further. He has half a mind to cover Jayce's mouth with his hand because it's all too much. All of it is far too much. He has never been the focus of anyone's desires before, so with this much intensity, he is waylaid in such a manner that it's difficult for him to process.

No one has ever shown him this before, so is it so surprising that he doesn't think it genuine? Doesn't think it's real? Because for Jayce, who is the epitome of handsome, unbridled intelligence and life finding anything remotely worthy of someone like Viktor, who is average (or below if he really wishes to categorize himself), and dying seems baffling to him. But it is also painful in a way that goes beyond his aching lungs. His heart hurts because this is something he's always wished to hear but never thought he deserved. His eyes sting with the sensation of tears as the hand being held by Jayce trembles ever so slightly. He never knew he had mattered so much to anyone, someone, the one person that he's been longing to see for so long, and to get such a confession now? Now, after he's learned he's dying...will die and then be brought back once more.

To say such things with conviction and sincerity. When he has every opportunity to find someone better, someone more perfect and alive. Somone like Mel Medarda. ] I. I have always thought the same of you. Your brilliant mind, your ceaseless enthusiasm, your...ability to understand me. It is...[ barely above a whisper ] everything I have ever wanted.

[ In a way that somehow Viktor has always felt they were meant to be. Even though Jayce has now changed those feelings have not gone away; if anything, they have only gotten stronger. Despite what he has learned, it still lingers. ]

I-I have never said it because I- [ I am not good enough, will never be enough. ] -I did not want it to-to get in the way of our work. [ And he looks away again, his face flushed and hot from embarrassment. ]

See what you see. [ Hah. If only he could. ] I don't understand what you see in me. [ He shifts in his spot before the other, feeling oddly exposed as Jayce's honey-golden eyes bore into him. ] You say that I am like the sun but- [ a sun does not burn out nearly so quickly ] I feel more like a dying star.

[ On its way towards becoming nothing more but a mere figment of a distant memory. ]

[malleiform]

[ A dying star. Right. Viktor is still dying - and his life would be cut even shorter by destruction. And even with all of that, he's more and more realizing that this was the right thing to tell Viktor.

Despite the fact that Jayce is one for sweet confessions and romantic gestures, the timing of this all felt right. He's someone who loves a bit of romance and to really make sure his partner understands the extent of his affection in every moment where he's sharing it with them. But this wasn't a romantic moment. It was just how things went.

Because the pieces of the story fit together.

Of course he was driven forward by love. He shifts, scooting forward to the edge of his seat so he can wrap his arms around Viktor's waist, resting his head on his abdomen. He pulls him into a gentle hug of sort. Not the same type of hug as the day he arrived - that one was desperation and loneliness.

This one is comfort, affection. Soft and strong. A hold that will be difficult to give up when time demands it. ]

It means a lot to me that you think of me like that.

[ He immediately takes the compliment as it is. Given everything, he has no reason to doubt what the other says. Not that he makes a habit to doubt Viktor anyway. ]

I don't know how I can make you understand it, Viktor. These things you think are reasons for me to not love you the way that I do are all a part of you, and I love you.

[ It's easier to use the words a second and third time, he realizes. In time, it will feel natural to refer to Viktor as someone he loves. He's decided he won't move from this position until the other asks him to move. ]

If I thought that those somehow made you unworthy, then I wouldn't say it.

[hexcorized]

J-Jayce...? [ His voice is a soft, shaky thing as he watches Jayce move forward. Surprise colors his face at Jayce's arms wrapping around his waist in a gesture that can only be seen as comforting, affectionate, and love. It gets a surprised but almost needy noise from Viktor as he takes a sharp inhale of breath, coughing once or twice into his hand as he feels the blooming of blush upon his cheeks. He can't help but brace himself by placing a hand upon Jayce's broad shoulder, the other gripping his crutch so very tightly in an unsteady hold. Looking down to see Jayce in such a position, it...ignites something in him that deeper desire of want and need that he has neglected and barred himself from. It makes his breath rattle in his fatigued lungs as he swallows thickly, eyes half-lidded as he shifts in place. He keeps using the word 'love' and every time it sends a jolt through Viktor's body and makes his heart rapidly beat in his chest. ]

Show me, then. [ The words spill out of his mouth without much thought. His face goes red as he speaks them, as he hears them reverberate through their quiet cottage. The hand braced on Jayce's shoulder moves to his chin to tilt his head upward so that he might look at Viktor with that expression that has slowly been undoing his resolve this entire time. ] Show me so that I might understand.

[ It is an invitation, if nothing else, for Jayce to do whatever he likes with. ]

[malleiform]

[ Jayce closes his eyes there, focused on feeling the way Viktor breathes. He listens to hear his heartbeat. He could get lost in this, he thinks. It's such a basic thing, but it's everything because it tells him Viktor is alive here with him. And for all that they both has changed in the time he's from, his care for him hasn't. It was stuck to him even when Viktor had evolved the way that he did.

He feels the shifts in Viktor's body. He can tell Viktor is trying to wrap his mind around it all. Then that hand on his shoulder is like electricity - a current striking every nerve in him - then the touch on his chin striking another nerve. A pleasant sensation rushing through his body. It's a touch initiated by Viktor, followed by another. The adoration never leaves his eyes. He's sincere because he doesn't know how to be anything but that with Viktor.

That request rings in the back of his mind, and his mouth goes dry. He licks his lips, looking up at Viktor. He barely catches it when Viktor repeats it for him. His mind is spinning. Viktor certainly knows what he's offering Jayce, he's not naive.

He will show Viktor what it means to be loved by him. ]

I will show you.

[ His voice is confident for the first time since he started this conversation. So he stands upright. His hands shift to Viktor's hips, holding him tightly - but not enough to bruise. He intends to keep Viktor as steady as he can, hold him close as he leans in, pressing a solid kiss. Should Viktor move to return it, Jayce will immediately press his tongue into it, a request for Viktor's lips to part, as his thumbs move in small circles where they sit on Viktor's waist.

He's not going to waste time -he's wasted enough and so much to make up for. ]

[hexcorized]

[ The shift in Jayce's position has Viktor's breath catching in his throat, and then he's pulled towards Jayce, against his body, and he lets out a soft airy sigh. This is. This is more than he's ever dreamed of before. He has had fantasies about it, now and again, but they were quickly dissipated because it felt wrong to simply want Jayce with such desire and fervor.

But knowing what he knows now, knowing everything that Jayce has done for him, has done for his love of him...he doesn't shy away from his desires right now. A soft appreciative noise comes from the back of Viktor's throat as he parts his lips for Jayce to get a taste of him. His body feels like it's electrified like the unsteady charge of a destabilized hexgem, but he can't seem to get enough of it. He wants to experiment with it more, push to see how far this energy can go, and take them. He presses a bit against Jayce, his hand curling into Jayce's hair at the base of his neck. A feathery light touch as he closes his eyes and guides Jayce against his mouth. Needy, wanting, and insistent. It feels right. It feels like he's finally found a piece of himself that's been missing for longer than 7 years. He'll take a breath as he opens his eyes again and presses his forehead against Jayce's. ]

Don't stop. You must...show me this, all of it. [ A breathless whisper pressed hot against Jayce's lips as Viktor leaned in to kiss him again. ]

[malleiform]

[ Reassurance washes over him the moment that Viktor returns the first kiss. If there was even a shred of doubt, it's long gone. His tongue immediately takes the moments to explore, taste him. It's better than he imagined in those moments when he was alone and let his mind drift towards what he thought it would be liked to have a chance like this. A chance that up until his arrival here last month, he didn't think he'd ever get.

Viktor's hands are reaching for him, holding onto him. His forehead rests against Viktor's and he takes a moment to catch his breath, barely having a chance to answer: ]

I'll show you. I'll hold you. I love you.

[ It's dizzying to him, the words are so easy now. No longer tied to any fear of going through parting ways again. He'll say them again and again until Viktor accepts the truth in them. He wants Viktor to know that Jayce will make sure he's steady on his feet. He will support him. He will do anything Viktor needs.

While his left moves to rest on Viktor's lower back in an effort to help support him, his right hand drifts moving up Viktor's chest, to the top of his shirt. With a little fumbling, he manages to undo the top few buttons - enough to that he'll have access to Viktor's neck. He only parts from the kiss so that he can move his lips over Viktor's neck and jawline and press kisses there instead. His lips don't linger too long on one spot, continuously moving there.

He dreamed of something like this more than he could count. The real thing is better than anything his mind could conjure up.]

Viktor -- [ He whispers against Viktor's neck. His body is pleasantly warm. He wants to show him by showering him with affection. His lips find a place on Viktor's collarbone. He sprawls his fingers on Viktor's back, and as if there was any space left between them,he pulls him in close. As if he's afraid that in any second, he'd lose this. ] Beautiful.

[ He doesn't even seem aware he whispered it. ]

[hexcorized]

[ Viktor's breath is shaky as Jayce pulls away, needy eyes stare back at the other, before he flushes as Jayce is fumbling with his shirt. He'll shudder as he watches Jayce plant those kisses against his heated skin, each one like a tantalizing shock to his system. ] Jayce, please, show me.

[ He doesn't know what he's pleading for, more touch, a rougher hand? It's all sort of blending itself into a culmination of want and desire now. He hasn't been touched like this in who knows how long, and he's desperate for it, they both are. Aching for it and the one person whom he has always wanted it from is now giving it to him. It's so much, and Viktor can feel his eyes stinging as he closes them to not alarm Jayce. Another husky breathless plea passes his lips as he shifts, canting his head so the other has better access to his neck.

Viktor's own hands roam, along Jayce's broad chest and up his arms to tangle themselves in his hair. But he stills when he hears that word. It's such a simple and insignificant thing to say to someone, but it unravels Viktor at the frayed seams.

Because it's Jayce saying it and it's something he's wanted to hear for so long. His tears are hot against his skin as he lets out a soft noise. Crying. He's crying, shit. He'll go to wipe them away with the heel of his shaking palm. ]

[malleiform]

[ Though he doesn't need anything to motivate him, Viktor's plea does exactly that anyway. The need and want to be shown. He doesn't way what, but Jayce is going to interpret it on his own that he means his love, his affection, his want, his need for his partner. Years of yearning that he hadn't quite figured out he had. Longing stares at the person who he spent sleepless nights beside.

Jayce isn't sure how he hadn't figured it out until recently. What a fool he is. For a touch-starved man, the hands carding through his hair send a shiver down his spine. They touch the part of him that is trying to make up for lost time. Lips and tongue desperately claiming the flesh of Viktor's neck and jawline, more-so when the other tilts his head and offers it to him so freely.

He feels the crying before he hears it. The gentle shake, the hitch in his breath. It alarms Jayce. How long has it been since he's seen Viktor cry? Has he seen Viktor cry? God -- he can't remember. It's not that his partner was stoic and emotionless, but unlike Jayce, he seemed to keep his feelings closer to his heart.

He lifted his head, moving to place his right hand on Viktor's cheek. His eyes are searching for an answer as he mentally backtracks over what he's said - and finally realizes what he had said just before the crying started. He brushes his thumb over Viktor's cheek. His own eyes meet Viktor's. ]

Vik--?

[ There's hesitation now. He called Viktor beautiful because his thoughts are decidedly unfiltered now. ]

[hexcorized]

[ Oh. The touch is so gentle and warm that Viktor can't help but lean into Jayce's hand. He closes his eyes again before letting out a soft laugh. Just another surprising reaction from him that Jayce has to contend with now. It's a fleeting thing, but it's genuine and it's so very him as he opens his eyes to get another look at Jayce. His hand mirrors Jayce's action as he cups Jayce's cheek. His eyes are filled with affection and adoration for the man before him. ]

I'm fine, Jayce. [ A slow motion of his thumb over Jayce's cheek as he continues. ] I apologize if I worried you.

[malleiform]

[ That laugh is everything to him in the moment it happens, as soft as it is. It's something he wants to hear again and again. Amazing, after all this time, he's finding new things to adore about his partner. When he says Viktor is the sun, this is what he means. His uncanny ability to bring the light to Jayce's life with something that could be seen as so simple.

And yet -- it meant a lot. Reassured that he's fine, Jayce nods. As long as Viktor's fine, then it's fine. That's all that he needed to know. He gives it a moment before he leans in and places a series of soft kisses on Viktor's lips, his cheek, his jawline. ]

That's what I needed to know.

[ Jayce's hand on his cheek is still cradling his face, shifting only to allow him to kiss in those spots. He's keeping a hand on Viktor to treat so gently - like he's the most precious thing. His hand on his back is still solid, steadily keeping their bodies pressed close.

At least Viktor seems to understand that Jayce meant it when he said it. Why else would he react the way he did? His kisses keep shifting, moving his hand from Viktor's cheek to trace over the buttons of Viktor's top. That's when another consideration strikes him: ]

Are you comfortable standing here?

[ He can get them both moved to somewhere better. If needed He'd hate to do anything to cause Viktor pain simply because they didn't find something comfortable. ]

[hexcorized]

[ Viktor huffs out a soft sigh with those fervent kisses to his lips, his cheeks, and jawline, all while his own hand idly drawing circles against Jayce's cheek. His eyes have only adoration in them as he meets Jayce for another kiss, reveling in it, as he nods. He'll swallow thickly, his eyes still a bit misty but not so much after that. ] I'm more than fine.

[ But, oh, he hadn't even considered it. He was so caught up in everything that, hm, his leg is starting to hurt a bit. But there are also plenty of places for them to get comfortable, too. ] I don't know how long we'd last between our two working legs. The couch, or...bed, perhaps would be better?

[ The insinuation is there with the mentioning of a bed, but Viktor's half-lidded stare is also there to set a tone. He'll lean in to kiss Jayce again before idly whispering into his ear. ] I'm content with wherever you choose, Jayce. But you should know if you take me to bed, I intend to spend the rest of the evening there.

[ Another look back into Jayce's eyes, his lips, his everything. To see what his reaction might very well be. Viktor's cheeks are so very flushed now as he looks away. ]

[malleiform]

[ This hadn't gone the way Jayce had planned. It's a conversation he had carefully planned out in his head before he had settled in to have it with Viktor. It took him days to come up with exactly what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. And he got to say everything he had wanted - and so much more. He hadn't gone into this expecting that he'd be telling Viktor of his love for him.

But it felt good to. It felt good to have the chance to show him, too. He'd get to express the full extent of his love and care for his partner. A word that now held more implications than it did the day he arrived here.

When Viktor talks, Jayce listens - as focused and attentive as he always is. And he's right. Neither of their bodies would particularly like them standing in the living room like this. He considers the couch for a moment. It's better, of course. Easy to get to from here.

But the bed -- it would be far more comfortable for the both of them. So if that's the case -- An affection smile touches the corners of his mouth and his eyes try to meet Viktor's, but he does glance away. Still, his attention is on the other's face. ]

Hm, to spend the evening in bed with you...

[ He can't think of anything better. ]

That may have made the decision for me.

[ And so, he reaches to scoop Viktor into his arms suddenly. His leg instantly protests, but he ignores it. He'll pay for that later, certainly. His body barely likes carrying his own weight, let alone the weight of another person. But still, he moves forward. Though neither of their rooms are a long walk, he'll get them both to his own. An invitation into his space, which doesn't have much of anything in it yet, but he plans to change that in time. ]

[hexcorized]

Well, one of us had to make one. [ An amused tone as he returns the look, wanting and expectant now. What he wasn't prepared for was for Jayce to lift him up so suddenly like that. He'll gasp and grab hold of Jayce's shoulder with his empty hand. ] Jayce!

[ His face is burning up quickly at that. He does give a huff as he struggles for half a second before accepting his fate. ] Your leg. You don't have to carry me. You do realize I can walk, yes?

[ It's not a long walk, no, but still! Jayce's leg and now his own are both...damaged. It's still a notion that he's trying to get used to. It doesn't make him happy knowing that they now share such a similarity between them. Just as quickly as he thinks it, they're in Jayce's bedroom, and the heat upon his cheeks only deepens. He's still not entirely sure if this happening. Jayce's love, his own constricted feelings, all of it seemed far too good to be true.

How far Jayce had gone to...keep him alive also lingered in his mind. Perhaps he should be more angry about it, and perhaps not. After all, he was willing to go to whatever lengths to stave off his death, even so far as to use the hexcore. That is, until he was brought here. It's a lot to...think about, consider, ruminate on. But for now, he will just bask in the knowledge of finally hearing those words fall from Jayce's mouth. Relish in it and allow himself this.

He leans in, pulling at the collar of Jayce's shirt as he kisses him again. It's almost impatient with the insistence Viktor puts into it. ] Don't keep me waiting too long.

[malleiform]

Of course you can walk, but my leg will be fine. [ He sees it this way: it will hurt, but the damage is long done. It's healed. And he does his best to ensure that his walk doesn't show any signs that it hurts, and is careful not to show any signs of a limp. The nearness of his space helps that, though. There's part of his brain that's simply wanted to simply do that. Lift Viktor up, sweep him up off his feet.

And while this is about as far from the initial plan as he could have thought, he stillw anted to have a chance at indulging in that. Which Viktor, at least, seemed to allow. ]

No more waiting.

[ He's in moments that he has Viktor settled down on the bed, not going too far beyond the edge of it. He's sure they'll make their way further into it, but for now this is a start to getting more comfortable. He doesn't go anywhere, though since Viktor grabs his shirt, pulls him in. And Jayce accepts the guidance. Years of pent-up longing lead to this. ]

I waited so long for this.

[ Another shameless admission in the heat of the moment. It's been years. Probably nearly all seven of the years they've known each other, if he thinks about it. No longer needing to support Viktor (realizing the crutch got left behind) since he's now taken a spot on the bed, Jayce presses down hard into the kiss, hands settling on Viktor's neck, thumbs stroking his jawline. He's taking full advantage of the changed positions and allowing his instincts to guide him more than before. Safely in his bed, comfort isn't as big of a concern now. His hands trail, knowing that the articles of clothing are going to have to get discarded. ]

[hexcorized]

[ Viktor doesn't normally allow nor like it when people carry him, even as a young boy, he never truly allowed it unless there were dire circumstances. Could this be considered one, he wonders? He allows Jayce this because the sheer amount of yearning and love radiating off the other man is suffocating to an extent. It was done not out of pity but out of love and devotion in a way Viktor has never seen before.

He's placed upon the bed with a soft sigh as he deepens the kiss that pulls Jayce in towards him, his own eyes filled with something akin to heat, longing, need. ] And you think I haven't? At least we're in agreement about that.

[ They have both been rather foolish, haven't they? It is the amused but breathless reply before Jayce deepens that kiss, and Viktor lets out a noise of acknowledgement and pleasure. Allowing Jayce's hands to cradle his neck and trail downward towards his clothes. ] Your hands have always...been something I've thought about.

[ One of his own will come up to grip at Jayce's wrist, the one without the crystal embedded into it. Viktor's eyes flicker again with that want. ]

I have wondered...how it must feel to be manipulated and touched by them.

[malleiform]

[ It's not that people haven't looked at and admired him, but there's something in the way that Viktor does it that feels so different. It's deeper, a look coming from seven years of friendship - them being as close as they always had been - that evolved into something more. It was precious to him. He realized in Viktor's absence that he had always wanted Viktor to simply look his way like he is now. He hadn't know to ask for it then, but even if he did - he doesn't know that he would have.

They were on the same page, a consideration no longer surprising after everything that had happened today. But he still finds some relief in knowing that Viktor has waited for this as long as (or probably longer) than he had.

His work on the buttons of Viktor's shirt is slow, but the other grips at his wrist and he listens to the other's admission. He lets out a breath, leaning to press his face against Viktor's neck, leaving a gentle kiss there before speaks on the sentiment. He whispers his words there. ]

Have you? My hands are rough.

[ Calloused. Not just from working the forge or doing work in the lab - from his months at the bottom of a chasm and dismantling his hammer. Viktor deserves to be treated with the utmost care -lovingly, as if hew want to ensure each touch is felt and full of intention. While the one handstills while Viktor holds it, the other still works through the buttons. ]

But still really gentle. Although I'd love to see you undone. [ Fully treated exactly as Jayce felt Viktor deserved. As if he were something rare and precious, but not fragile or delicate. Jayce wouldn't want Viktor to think that he's worried he'd break him.

With a couple of buttons undone, he moves his free hand - with the crystal - and spreads his fingers over the top of Viktor's chest, dragging over it. ] You're already beautiful, I can only imagine what that'd be like.

[ This time, the intention is there. His eyes are locked onto Viktor's as he says it. As if to prove that it wasn't an accident last time he said it, too. ]

[hexcorized]

Who's to say that I don't appreciate them that way? [ Viktor hums into Jayce's hand, kissing his palm as he slowly drags his lips across those calluses. Viktor shudders from the kiss pressed against his neck, his eyes half-lidded as he watches Jayce undo his buttons. It's almost like a dazed stare as if he can't believe any of this is really happening right now. But it feels real, and he doesn't recall falling asleep, so it mustn't be a dream.

Viktor feels his face flush at Jayce's words, however, unexpected as always with what he says sometimes. The beautiful especially has him pull away slightly, looking some kind of way, half embarrassed, half turned on, he's not sure what he's feeling right now, but it's a mixture of emotions. Another shudder as he lets out a soft, sighed breath, taking in Jayce's warm hand spread across his chest like that. It's enough to make the flesh on his skin break out in goosebumps. ] You say the most ridiculous things sometimes, Jayce.

[ Him...beautiful? He doesn't think of himself in that way at all, especially when it comes to his back brace, which Jayce will see beneath his shirt. He still wonders what Jayce even sees in him now, but maybe he'll change his mind. ] There could be...many improvements.

[ To himself physically and perhaps in other areas as well. There is a creeping sense of anxiety the further along Jayce goes with undoing his shirt and exposing the imperfections of his body underneath it. Skrawny, pale, and affixed to his back brace in some sort of hideous amalgamation of flesh and metal...he blinks and looks away, trying not to let his fears and self-deprecation get the better of him. ]

[malleiform]

[ He lets out a pleased sound as Viktor's lips gently kiss against his hands, moving over the rough surface that he had mentioned thinking about. It was in his blood to have rough, but gentle, hands. Capable of doing challenging work but creating fine details both while at the forge. There's something about the kisses there that ignite something deep within him.

Like through all of the roughness of his outer shell he's getting treated with a tenderness that he missed. It would take a better man than him to resist what's being offered here. Then Viktor pulls away, just enough for Jayce to notice, and takes his hand. He's protesting the sentiment, but Jayce believes he's wrong about himself.

Sure, Jayce would rather Viktor not be sick. He'd rather the man live as long as he does so he can stay by his side. He saw what what he becomes when Viktor's not there.

He lets out a thoughtful sound of protest as he undoes the last of the buttons on Viktor's shirt, keeping it in place as it opens. His eyes, half-lidded, shift over Viktor's form for a moment. ]

And if you tell me where you think you need improvements, I will tell you why you're wrong to think they make you less beautiful.

[ Confidently. His mind may be twisted and unreliable, but he is certain of that. ]