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[ Viktor is willing himself not to cough, not shake so much when Jayce reaches for his hand, which he allows the other to take with a small wince as he listens further. He has half a mind to cover Jayce's mouth with his hand because it's all too much. All of it is far too much. He has never been the focus of anyone's desires before, so with this much intensity, he is waylaid in such a manner that it's difficult for him to process.

No one has ever shown him this before, so is it so surprising that he doesn't think it genuine? Doesn't think it's real? Because for Jayce, who is the epitome of handsome, unbridled intelligence and life finding anything remotely worthy of someone like Viktor, who is average (or below if he really wishes to categorize himself), and dying seems baffling to him. But it is also painful in a way that goes beyond his aching lungs. His heart hurts because this is something he's always wished to hear but never thought he deserved. His eyes sting with the sensation of tears as the hand being held by Jayce trembles ever so slightly. He never knew he had mattered so much to anyone, someone, the one person that he's been longing to see for so long, and to get such a confession now? Now, after he's learned he's dying...will die and then be brought back once more.

To say such things with conviction and sincerity. When he has every opportunity to find someone better, someone more perfect and alive. Somone like Mel Medarda. ] I. I have always thought the same of you. Your brilliant mind, your ceaseless enthusiasm, your...ability to understand me. It is...[ barely above a whisper ] everything I have ever wanted.

[ In a way that somehow Viktor has always felt they were meant to be. Even though Jayce has now changed those feelings have not gone away; if anything, they have only gotten stronger. Despite what he has learned, it still lingers. ]

I-I have never said it because I- [ I am not good enough, will never be enough. ] -I did not want it to-to get in the way of our work. [ And he looks away again, his face flushed and hot from embarrassment. ]

See what you see. [ Hah. If only he could. ] I don't understand what you see in me. [ He shifts in his spot before the other, feeling oddly exposed as Jayce's honey-golden eyes bore into him. ] You say that I am like the sun but- [ a sun does not burn out nearly so quickly ] I feel more like a dying star.

[ On its way towards becoming nothing more but a mere figment of a distant memory. ]

[ A dying star. Right. Viktor is still dying - and his life would be cut even shorter by destruction. And even with all of that, he's more and more realizing that this was the right thing to tell Viktor.

Despite the fact that Jayce is one for sweet confessions and romantic gestures, the timing of this all felt right. He's someone who loves a bit of romance and to really make sure his partner understands the extent of his affection in every moment where he's sharing it with them. But this wasn't a romantic moment. It was just how things went.

Because the pieces of the story fit together.

Of course he was driven forward by love. He shifts, scooting forward to the edge of his seat so he can wrap his arms around Viktor's waist, resting his head on his abdomen. He pulls him into a gentle hug of sort. Not the same type of hug as the day he arrived - that one was desperation and loneliness.

This one is comfort, affection. Soft and strong. A hold that will be difficult to give up when time demands it. ]

It means a lot to me that you think of me like that.

[ He immediately takes the compliment as it is. Given everything, he has no reason to doubt what the other says. Not that he makes a habit to doubt Viktor anyway. ]

I don't know how I can make you understand it, Viktor. These things you think are reasons for me to not love you the way that I do are all a part of you, and I love you.

[ It's easier to use the words a second and third time, he realizes. In time, it will feel natural to refer to Viktor as someone he loves. He's decided he won't move from this position until the other asks him to move. ]

If I thought that those somehow made you unworthy, then I wouldn't say it.

Edited 2025-04-12 04:55 (UTC)

J-Jayce...? [ His voice is a soft, shaky thing as he watches Jayce move forward. Surprise colors his face at Jayce's arms wrapping around his waist in a gesture that can only be seen as comforting, affectionate, and love. It gets a surprised but almost needy noise from Viktor as he takes a sharp inhale of breath, coughing once or twice into his hand as he feels the blooming of blush upon his cheeks. He can't help but brace himself by placing a hand upon Jayce's broad shoulder, the other gripping his crutch so very tightly in an unsteady hold. Looking down to see Jayce in such a position, it...ignites something in him that deeper desire of want and need that he has neglected and barred himself from. It makes his breath rattle in his fatigued lungs as he swallows thickly, eyes half-lidded as he shifts in place. He keeps using the word 'love' and every time it sends a jolt through Viktor's body and makes his heart rapidly beat in his chest. ]

Show me, then. [ The words spill out of his mouth without much thought. His face goes red as he speaks them, as he hears them reverberate through their quiet cottage. The hand braced on Jayce's shoulder moves to his chin to tilt his head upward so that he might look at Viktor with that expression that has slowly been undoing his resolve this entire time. ] Show me so that I might understand.

[ It is an invitation, if nothing else, for Jayce to do whatever he likes with. ]

[ Jayce closes his eyes there, focused on feeling the way Viktor breathes. He listens to hear his heartbeat. He could get lost in this, he thinks. It's such a basic thing, but it's everything because it tells him Viktor is alive here with him. And for all that they both has changed in the time he's from, his care for him hasn't. It was stuck to him even when Viktor had evolved the way that he did.

He feels the shifts in Viktor's body. He can tell Viktor is trying to wrap his mind around it all. Then that hand on his shoulder is like electricity - a current striking every nerve in him - then the touch on his chin striking another nerve. A pleasant sensation rushing through his body. It's a touch initiated by Viktor, followed by another. The adoration never leaves his eyes. He's sincere because he doesn't know how to be anything but that with Viktor.

That request rings in the back of his mind, and his mouth goes dry. He licks his lips, looking up at Viktor. He barely catches it when Viktor repeats it for him. His mind is spinning. Viktor certainly knows what he's offering Jayce, he's not naive.

He will show Viktor what it means to be loved by him. ]

I will show you.

[ His voice is confident for the first time since he started this conversation. So he stands upright. His hands shift to Viktor's hips, holding him tightly - but not enough to bruise. He intends to keep Viktor as steady as he can, hold him close as he leans in, pressing a solid kiss. Should Viktor move to return it, Jayce will immediately press his tongue into it, a request for Viktor's lips to part, as his thumbs move in small circles where they sit on Viktor's waist.

He's not going to waste time -he's wasted enough and so much to make up for. ]

[ The shift in Jayce's position has Viktor's breath catching in his throat, and then he's pulled towards Jayce, against his body, and he lets out a soft airy sigh. This is. This is more than he's ever dreamed of before. He has had fantasies about it, now and again, but they were quickly dissipated because it felt wrong to simply want Jayce with such desire and fervor.

But knowing what he knows now, knowing everything that Jayce has done for him, has done for his love of him...he doesn't shy away from his desires right now. A soft appreciative noise comes from the back of Viktor's throat as he parts his lips for Jayce to get a taste of him. His body feels like it's electrified like the unsteady charge of a destabilized hexgem, but he can't seem to get enough of it. He wants to experiment with it more, push to see how far this energy can go, and take them. He presses a bit against Jayce, his hand curling into Jayce's hair at the base of his neck. A feathery light touch as he closes his eyes and guides Jayce against his mouth. Needy, wanting, and insistent. It feels right. It feels like he's finally found a piece of himself that's been missing for longer than 7 years. He'll take a breath as he opens his eyes again and presses his forehead against Jayce's. ]

Don't stop. You must...show me this, all of it. [ A breathless whisper pressed hot against Jayce's lips as Viktor leaned in to kiss him again. ]

[ Reassurance washes over him the moment that Viktor returns the first kiss. If there was even a shred of doubt, it's long gone. His tongue immediately takes the moments to explore, taste him. It's better than he imagined in those moments when he was alone and let his mind drift towards what he thought it would be liked to have a chance like this. A chance that up until his arrival here last month, he didn't think he'd ever get.

Viktor's hands are reaching for him, holding onto him. His forehead rests against Viktor's and he takes a moment to catch his breath, barely having a chance to answer: ]

I'll show you. I'll hold you. I love you.

[ It's dizzying to him, the words are so easy now. No longer tied to any fear of going through parting ways again. He'll say them again and again until Viktor accepts the truth in them. He wants Viktor to know that Jayce will make sure he's steady on his feet. He will support him. He will do anything Viktor needs.

While his left moves to rest on Viktor's lower back in an effort to help support him, his right hand drifts moving up Viktor's chest, to the top of his shirt. With a little fumbling, he manages to undo the top few buttons - enough to that he'll have access to Viktor's neck. He only parts from the kiss so that he can move his lips over Viktor's neck and jawline and press kisses there instead. His lips don't linger too long on one spot, continuously moving there.

He dreamed of something like this more than he could count. The real thing is better than anything his mind could conjure up.]

Viktor -- [ He whispers against Viktor's neck. His body is pleasantly warm. He wants to show him by showering him with affection. His lips find a place on Viktor's collarbone. He sprawls his fingers on Viktor's back, and as if there was any space left between them,he pulls him in close. As if he's afraid that in any second, he'd lose this. ] Beautiful.

[ He doesn't even seem aware he whispered it. ]

Edited 2025-04-13 05:33 (UTC)

[ Viktor's breath is shaky as Jayce pulls away, needy eyes stare back at the other, before he flushes as Jayce is fumbling with his shirt. He'll shudder as he watches Jayce plant those kisses against his heated skin, each one like a tantalizing shock to his system. ] Jayce, please, show me.

[ He doesn't know what he's pleading for, more touch, a rougher hand? It's all sort of blending itself into a culmination of want and desire now. He hasn't been touched like this in who knows how long, and he's desperate for it, they both are. Aching for it and the one person whom he has always wanted it from is now giving it to him. It's so much, and Viktor can feel his eyes stinging as he closes them to not alarm Jayce. Another husky breathless plea passes his lips as he shifts, canting his head so the other has better access to his neck.

Viktor's own hands roam, along Jayce's broad chest and up his arms to tangle themselves in his hair. But he stills when he hears that word. It's such a simple and insignificant thing to say to someone, but it unravels Viktor at the frayed seams.

Because it's Jayce saying it and it's something he's wanted to hear for so long. His tears are hot against his skin as he lets out a soft noise. Crying. He's crying, shit. He'll go to wipe them away with the heel of his shaking palm. ]

[ Though he doesn't need anything to motivate him, Viktor's plea does exactly that anyway. The need and want to be shown. He doesn't way what, but Jayce is going to interpret it on his own that he means his love, his affection, his want, his need for his partner. Years of yearning that he hadn't quite figured out he had. Longing stares at the person who he spent sleepless nights beside.

Jayce isn't sure how he hadn't figured it out until recently. What a fool he is. For a touch-starved man, the hands carding through his hair send a shiver down his spine. They touch the part of him that is trying to make up for lost time. Lips and tongue desperately claiming the flesh of Viktor's neck and jawline, more-so when the other tilts his head and offers it to him so freely.

He feels the crying before he hears it. The gentle shake, the hitch in his breath. It alarms Jayce. How long has it been since he's seen Viktor cry? Has he seen Viktor cry? God -- he can't remember. It's not that his partner was stoic and emotionless, but unlike Jayce, he seemed to keep his feelings closer to his heart.

He lifted his head, moving to place his right hand on Viktor's cheek. His eyes are searching for an answer as he mentally backtracks over what he's said - and finally realizes what he had said just before the crying started. He brushes his thumb over Viktor's cheek. His own eyes meet Viktor's. ]

Vik--?

[ There's hesitation now. He called Viktor beautiful because his thoughts are decidedly unfiltered now. ]

[ Oh. The touch is so gentle and warm that Viktor can't help but lean into Jayce's hand. He closes his eyes again before letting out a soft laugh. Just another surprising reaction from him that Jayce has to contend with now. It's a fleeting thing, but it's genuine and it's so very him as he opens his eyes to get another look at Jayce. His hand mirrors Jayce's action as he cups Jayce's cheek. His eyes are filled with affection and adoration for the man before him. ]

I'm fine, Jayce. [ A slow motion of his thumb over Jayce's cheek as he continues. ] I apologize if I worried you.

[ That laugh is everything to him in the moment it happens, as soft as it is. It's something he wants to hear again and again. Amazing, after all this time, he's finding new things to adore about his partner. When he says Viktor is the sun, this is what he means. His uncanny ability to bring the light to Jayce's life with something that could be seen as so simple.

And yet -- it meant a lot. Reassured that he's fine, Jayce nods. As long as Viktor's fine, then it's fine. That's all that he needed to know. He gives it a moment before he leans in and places a series of soft kisses on Viktor's lips, his cheek, his jawline. ]

That's what I needed to know.

[ Jayce's hand on his cheek is still cradling his face, shifting only to allow him to kiss in those spots. He's keeping a hand on Viktor to treat so gently - like he's the most precious thing. His hand on his back is still solid, steadily keeping their bodies pressed close.

At least Viktor seems to understand that Jayce meant it when he said it. Why else would he react the way he did? His kisses keep shifting, moving his hand from Viktor's cheek to trace over the buttons of Viktor's top. That's when another consideration strikes him: ]

Are you comfortable standing here?

[ He can get them both moved to somewhere better. If needed He'd hate to do anything to cause Viktor pain simply because they didn't find something comfortable. ]

[ Viktor huffs out a soft sigh with those fervent kisses to his lips, his cheeks, and jawline, all while his own hand idly drawing circles against Jayce's cheek. His eyes have only adoration in them as he meets Jayce for another kiss, reveling in it, as he nods. He'll swallow thickly, his eyes still a bit misty but not so much after that. ] I'm more than fine.

[ But, oh, he hadn't even considered it. He was so caught up in everything that, hm, his leg is starting to hurt a bit. But there are also plenty of places for them to get comfortable, too. ] I don't know how long we'd last between our two working legs. The couch, or...bed, perhaps would be better?

[ The insinuation is there with the mentioning of a bed, but Viktor's half-lidded stare is also there to set a tone. He'll lean in to kiss Jayce again before idly whispering into his ear. ] I'm content with wherever you choose, Jayce. But you should know if you take me to bed, I intend to spend the rest of the evening there.

[ Another look back into Jayce's eyes, his lips, his everything. To see what his reaction might very well be. Viktor's cheeks are so very flushed now as he looks away. ]

[ This hadn't gone the way Jayce had planned. It's a conversation he had carefully planned out in his head before he had settled in to have it with Viktor. It took him days to come up with exactly what he wanted to say and how he wanted to say it. And he got to say everything he had wanted - and so much more. He hadn't gone into this expecting that he'd be telling Viktor of his love for him.

But it felt good to. It felt good to have the chance to show him, too. He'd get to express the full extent of his love and care for his partner. A word that now held more implications than it did the day he arrived here.

When Viktor talks, Jayce listens - as focused and attentive as he always is. And he's right. Neither of their bodies would particularly like them standing in the living room like this. He considers the couch for a moment. It's better, of course. Easy to get to from here.

But the bed -- it would be far more comfortable for the both of them. So if that's the case -- An affection smile touches the corners of his mouth and his eyes try to meet Viktor's, but he does glance away. Still, his attention is on the other's face. ]

Hm, to spend the evening in bed with you...

[ He can't think of anything better. ]

That may have made the decision for me.

[ And so, he reaches to scoop Viktor into his arms suddenly. His leg instantly protests, but he ignores it. He'll pay for that later, certainly. His body barely likes carrying his own weight, let alone the weight of another person. But still, he moves forward. Though neither of their rooms are a long walk, he'll get them both to his own. An invitation into his space, which doesn't have much of anything in it yet, but he plans to change that in time. ]

Well, one of us had to make one. [ An amused tone as he returns the look, wanting and expectant now. What he wasn't prepared for was for Jayce to lift him up so suddenly like that. He'll gasp and grab hold of Jayce's shoulder with his empty hand. ] Jayce!

[ His face is burning up quickly at that. He does give a huff as he struggles for half a second before accepting his fate. ] Your leg. You don't have to carry me. You do realize I can walk, yes?

[ It's not a long walk, no, but still! Jayce's leg and now his own are both...damaged. It's still a notion that he's trying to get used to. It doesn't make him happy knowing that they now share such a similarity between them. Just as quickly as he thinks it, they're in Jayce's bedroom, and the heat upon his cheeks only deepens. He's still not entirely sure if this happening. Jayce's love, his own constricted feelings, all of it seemed far too good to be true.

How far Jayce had gone to...keep him alive also lingered in his mind. Perhaps he should be more angry about it, and perhaps not. After all, he was willing to go to whatever lengths to stave off his death, even so far as to use the hexcore. That is, until he was brought here. It's a lot to...think about, consider, ruminate on. But for now, he will just bask in the knowledge of finally hearing those words fall from Jayce's mouth. Relish in it and allow himself this.

He leans in, pulling at the collar of Jayce's shirt as he kisses him again. It's almost impatient with the insistence Viktor puts into it. ] Don't keep me waiting too long.

Of course you can walk, but my leg will be fine. [ He sees it this way: it will hurt, but the damage is long done. It's healed. And he does his best to ensure that his walk doesn't show any signs that it hurts, and is careful not to show any signs of a limp. The nearness of his space helps that, though. There's part of his brain that's simply wanted to simply do that. Lift Viktor up, sweep him up off his feet.

And while this is about as far from the initial plan as he could have thought, he stillw anted to have a chance at indulging in that. Which Viktor, at least, seemed to allow. ]

No more waiting.

[ He's in moments that he has Viktor settled down on the bed, not going too far beyond the edge of it. He's sure they'll make their way further into it, but for now this is a start to getting more comfortable. He doesn't go anywhere, though since Viktor grabs his shirt, pulls him in. And Jayce accepts the guidance. Years of pent-up longing lead to this. ]

I waited so long for this.

[ Another shameless admission in the heat of the moment. It's been years. Probably nearly all seven of the years they've known each other, if he thinks about it. No longer needing to support Viktor (realizing the crutch got left behind) since he's now taken a spot on the bed, Jayce presses down hard into the kiss, hands settling on Viktor's neck, thumbs stroking his jawline. He's taking full advantage of the changed positions and allowing his instincts to guide him more than before. Safely in his bed, comfort isn't as big of a concern now. His hands trail, knowing that the articles of clothing are going to have to get discarded. ]

[ Viktor doesn't normally allow nor like it when people carry him, even as a young boy, he never truly allowed it unless there were dire circumstances. Could this be considered one, he wonders? He allows Jayce this because the sheer amount of yearning and love radiating off the other man is suffocating to an extent. It was done not out of pity but out of love and devotion in a way Viktor has never seen before.

He's placed upon the bed with a soft sigh as he deepens the kiss that pulls Jayce in towards him, his own eyes filled with something akin to heat, longing, need. ] And you think I haven't? At least we're in agreement about that.

[ They have both been rather foolish, haven't they? It is the amused but breathless reply before Jayce deepens that kiss, and Viktor lets out a noise of acknowledgement and pleasure. Allowing Jayce's hands to cradle his neck and trail downward towards his clothes. ] Your hands have always...been something I've thought about.

[ One of his own will come up to grip at Jayce's wrist, the one without the crystal embedded into it. Viktor's eyes flicker again with that want. ]

I have wondered...how it must feel to be manipulated and touched by them.

[ It's not that people haven't looked at and admired him, but there's something in the way that Viktor does it that feels so different. It's deeper, a look coming from seven years of friendship - them being as close as they always had been - that evolved into something more. It was precious to him. He realized in Viktor's absence that he had always wanted Viktor to simply look his way like he is now. He hadn't know to ask for it then, but even if he did - he doesn't know that he would have.

They were on the same page, a consideration no longer surprising after everything that had happened today. But he still finds some relief in knowing that Viktor has waited for this as long as (or probably longer) than he had.

His work on the buttons of Viktor's shirt is slow, but the other grips at his wrist and he listens to the other's admission. He lets out a breath, leaning to press his face against Viktor's neck, leaving a gentle kiss there before speaks on the sentiment. He whispers his words there. ]

Have you? My hands are rough.

[ Calloused. Not just from working the forge or doing work in the lab - from his months at the bottom of a chasm and dismantling his hammer. Viktor deserves to be treated with the utmost care -lovingly, as if hew want to ensure each touch is felt and full of intention. While the one handstills while Viktor holds it, the other still works through the buttons. ]

But still really gentle. Although I'd love to see you undone. [ Fully treated exactly as Jayce felt Viktor deserved. As if he were something rare and precious, but not fragile or delicate. Jayce wouldn't want Viktor to think that he's worried he'd break him.

With a couple of buttons undone, he moves his free hand - with the crystal - and spreads his fingers over the top of Viktor's chest, dragging over it. ] You're already beautiful, I can only imagine what that'd be like.

[ This time, the intention is there. His eyes are locked onto Viktor's as he says it. As if to prove that it wasn't an accident last time he said it, too. ]

Edited 2025-04-19 12:02 (UTC)

Who's to say that I don't appreciate them that way? [ Viktor hums into Jayce's hand, kissing his palm as he slowly drags his lips across those calluses. Viktor shudders from the kiss pressed against his neck, his eyes half-lidded as he watches Jayce undo his buttons. It's almost like a dazed stare as if he can't believe any of this is really happening right now. But it feels real, and he doesn't recall falling asleep, so it mustn't be a dream.

Viktor feels his face flush at Jayce's words, however, unexpected as always with what he says sometimes. The beautiful especially has him pull away slightly, looking some kind of way, half embarrassed, half turned on, he's not sure what he's feeling right now, but it's a mixture of emotions. Another shudder as he lets out a soft, sighed breath, taking in Jayce's warm hand spread across his chest like that. It's enough to make the flesh on his skin break out in goosebumps. ] You say the most ridiculous things sometimes, Jayce.

[ Him...beautiful? He doesn't think of himself in that way at all, especially when it comes to his back brace, which Jayce will see beneath his shirt. He still wonders what Jayce even sees in him now, but maybe he'll change his mind. ] There could be...many improvements.

[ To himself physically and perhaps in other areas as well. There is a creeping sense of anxiety the further along Jayce goes with undoing his shirt and exposing the imperfections of his body underneath it. Skrawny, pale, and affixed to his back brace in some sort of hideous amalgamation of flesh and metal...he blinks and looks away, trying not to let his fears and self-deprecation get the better of him. ]

[ He lets out a pleased sound as Viktor's lips gently kiss against his hands, moving over the rough surface that he had mentioned thinking about. It was in his blood to have rough, but gentle, hands. Capable of doing challenging work but creating fine details both while at the forge. There's something about the kisses there that ignite something deep within him.

Like through all of the roughness of his outer shell he's getting treated with a tenderness that he missed. It would take a better man than him to resist what's being offered here. Then Viktor pulls away, just enough for Jayce to notice, and takes his hand. He's protesting the sentiment, but Jayce believes he's wrong about himself.

Sure, Jayce would rather Viktor not be sick. He'd rather the man live as long as he does so he can stay by his side. He saw what what he becomes when Viktor's not there.

He lets out a thoughtful sound of protest as he undoes the last of the buttons on Viktor's shirt, keeping it in place as it opens. His eyes, half-lidded, shift over Viktor's form for a moment. ]

And if you tell me where you think you need improvements, I will tell you why you're wrong to think they make you less beautiful.

[ Confidently. His mind may be twisted and unreliable, but he is certain of that. ]

Edited 2025-04-21 03:39 (UTC)

[ Jayce's eyes shifting over his form make Viktor feel so very exposed. It was a silly and ridiculous thing to feel, since his body from a young age has been observed by doctors and nurses alike. But their eyes looking down at his broken and frail form never made him feel like this. When Jayce looks at him, it's like he's not enough, will never be enough, can't be...enough. But it's not anything Jayce himself is doing wrong; he knows, he knows now that the other will love him regardless of what he is, what he becomes, and maybe he's just still coming to terms with all of that. But he wants to be more for him, for them both, but he can't be. Not when he is like this.

So his eyes remain focused on the bedroom floor before they flutter as he looks back up at Jayce. God, Jayce is so beautiful. How could he ever think they were equals? Viktor's expression shifts into surprise and incredulity as he looks away again. ] Everything could use an improvement. I'm not quite sure that my sickly pallor, my eye bags, or the brace nailed into my spine and leg could be considered as-as beautiful.

[ All said so very matter of factly. ] But you have continued to surprise me with your answers. So I might be persuaded to keep an open mind.

[ Jayce's hand traces over Viktor's chest, where he can see a pretty striking difference in their skin tones. There's a flush on his face that reaches his ears as he admires the man he's standing near. He understands that the other sees him so differently than Jayce sees him. But for Jayce, he simply can't believe that he gets to indulge in this. That he gets to be close to Viktor in such a way that that he'd never expected.

He steps in close to the bed, pressing against the edge of it, his braced leg sliding between Viktor's legs so that they can be as close as possible for now. He knows they'll both be sliding further into the bed sooner than later. But for now he's okay like this. He's okay admiring Viktor and showering him with every ounce of affection that he has.

One hand settles on the other's head, the other shifts from his chest to his waist. He sighs, it almost takes him no effort to come up with an answer. His smile is a little cheeky, because really - he doesn't have some sort of brilliant answer, either. It's simple. ]

And all of those things are pieces of you that are a part of the whole. They don't somehow make you less. All you have to do is be Viktor. The Viktor I admire and adore. The Viktor who is beautiful.

[ Of course he wishes Viktor never had to deal with these things. But for him, they're simply a part of the person he loves so much - and he'd take Viktor with or without them. He wonders, hopes there's a way to make it more clear. He has a question. ]

So what of me, Viktor? A shattered leg, a scarred body. A mind so irreversibly tainted that I always have to remind myself it's real. [ Not to mention a mind that was always slowly working towards an edge long before the chasm. A mind his mother called unwell. ] Maybe you wish I didn't have to deal with it, but I know you don't see them as things that somehow make me less.

Edited 2025-04-21 16:14 (UTC)

[ A stuttered sigh manages to worm its way out of Viktor as Jayce teases his hand over his chest, his leg pressing between his legs gets another hitched breath. An innocent enough gesture, but the intent behind it is loud and clear. Viktor wants nothing more than for Jayce to continue, have his hands glide along the contours and ridges of his body, and the thought is enough to make his face go red hot down his neck and up to the tips of his ears. But his breath catches again in his throat for what feels like the umpteenth time today, and his eyes dart to look directly back at Jayce. His breath is shaky as he exhales and looks away, almost like he can't believe what he's hearing. ]

Jayce I-I can't. I can't accept that so easily. [ He truly can't even if Jayce makes it so abundantly clear and easy to accept. How is he just supposed to do it so effortlessly? He shakes his head and presses the heel of his palms to his eyes, almost like he's fighting to keep tears at bay again. Having some you've loved for over seven years say that the things you hate about yourself only make you beautiful is...so much. This whole time, he's only ever hated what he was unfortunately born with. A bad leg, a crooked spine, lungs that were diseased, none of it by choice, and all of it predetermined without so much as a chance. He never stood a chance, and yet Jayce finds them...beautiful? He finally removes his hands from his face and looks back at Jayce, eyes filled with surprise. ]

You are...you've always been perfect to me, Jayce. Your mind, your body, I could never see you as anything less than perfect, regardless. [ That confession slips out as his face lights up again. But he sighs as he lets out a soft laugh, thinking on his own answer, it does make his self-loathing a bit of a contradiction, doesn't it? ] I suppose it does make my argument a bit weak when you put it that way.

[ His smile is amused as he raises his hands to tug Jayce down towards him. His lips pressed against Jayce's once again, this time more insistent and hungry. ] I will always want to see you for who you are and nothing else.

[ Viktor's words echo in his mind. He had a feeling that turning it on himself would resonate with him a little more. He gets what he's dealing with, really. While Jayce has never struggled as intensely with his image - he knows what he's been through. He knows that the damage done to him is permanent, irreversible. But he also knows that he had to embrace those things about him to do what he could. He had to be persistent, just as he always had to be.

Jayce had always seen Viktor as someone persistent, too. Committed to their goals and work through it all, even in times when Jayce wasn't attentive.

He falls into Viktor, allowing himself to be pulled in. He smirks a little into the kiss. He feels a little victorious. ]

Mhm... [ A hum - a little suggestion that says he knows he's right - right now. ] I thought so.

[ Only because as a romantic he knows that to love someone is to love them wholly, entirely, and thoroughly. It means that it's just as Viktor says - that he will only ever see him for who he is and nothing else. He simply wishes for Viktor to have the best of this life.

He feels a lot more settled now, no longer needing to continue insisting. As long as the other understands how Jayce sees him, he'll be satisfied for now. Pulled towards Viktor, he leans into him, hands exploring the form under him. His hands tracing of the form of his back, slipping under the back of his unbuttoned shirt and moving softly, feeling the shapes of it. His movements are slow, callused fingers exploring every piece of his partner for the first time.

He lets out a pleased sound, thinking now only of this. How he'd like to explore every inch of Viktor with his hands and mouth. How he'd like to thoroughly taste and experience him. He wants to treasure and experience him in ways he's never gotten to before. He only gets one first time to experience Viktor, and he wants to ensure that he gets to fully.

His tongue moves past Viktor's lips, taking the chance to explore the other's mouth with his tongue. He pulls back a little, teeth catching on the other's lip only briefly, playfully. ]

I'm going to show you.

[ He says it again. ]

I'm going to show you what loving you means to me.

[ Viktor gives Jayce an almost annoyed look at that satisfied look and that hum, knowing full well that Jayce knows he's right. Then again Viktor finds that part of him so damn desireable too it's rather unfair. ] Don't let this one instance go to your head.

[ He's clearly at a disadvantage here, okay?! And it shows as Viktor's back arches, the places around the bolts in his spine are especially sensitive, as he lets out a pleased noise. Feeling Jayce's hands on his body in any place, any way, is electrifying. Then comes another kiss, and Viktor folds immediately, letting Jayce taste him, nip at his bottom lip, as he pulls away, and Viktor can only reply in kind with a scowl. ]

Then you better hurry up and stop teasing me.

[ A small hum in acknowledgement. He won't let it go to his head too much, at least. But he will enjoy the smallest victories with Viktor. He doesn't blame him for not fully knowing his worth and beauty. The world taught him that everything that was thought of as wrong with him was an imperfection only meant to be fixed and corrected. That having them was a mark on your beauty. Maybe it was Jayce's affection that helped him feel that way. Maybe it was simply Jayce being who he always was.

His eyes fall on Viktor's lips, face. Enjoying he way that the noises rise from Viktor's through when Jayce's fingers move over he sensitive pieces of Viktor's back. ]

I'm not teasing.

[ Okay, so he kind of is - a little bit. But he'd probably call it exploring instead. It's their first time together like this. He wanted to treasure it. So he kneels before Viktor, just as he had before their conversation started, and work on slowly undoing the brace. He starts near his ankle and foot, with a clear goal to work up.

After each piece is undone - he lets his hand rest on Viktor, fingers and thumbs working in gentle circular motions to massage him. He's working a little deeper this time. More intention behind the touch. As he works, he looks up at Viktor often, watching the man's face and reactions. ]

Are you trying to fool me, or yourself, with that?

[ Amused quip as he watches Jayce ever so attentively. The same feeling happens again, watching Jayce kneel before him sends a heat throughout his body that he knows is desire in its purest and primal form. He remains still as he watches Jayce slowly start to remove his newly made brace with such intensity in his eyes that its easy enough to see the desire in it now. Such looks were not beneath Viktor, but he often reserved them for when Jayce wasn't looking. It's easier now, now that he doesn't have to hide his wants or desires. Viktor can't stop the noises that escape him with the additional touching, though, his breath coming out in soft exhales with each ministration, as he has to look away when Jayce finally looks at him.

The massage into his bad leg makes him shudder, and he'll put his hand against his mouth to curb the sounds, embarrassed enough as is, he doesn't want to make it any worse for himself. ] Jayce. [ Hissed through his teeth because he wasn't expecting all of this. ]

You are...incorrigible sometimes. [ Said through even breaths as he fights with himself to not come off as too needy, too desperate. It feels amazing, though. He can't help but make some noises of pleasure. ]

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