[ First the gear and now...this. Viktor is not very good at receiving things and the only reason he hasn't gone directly to Dodger's to return it is because of the dungeon number 1, and number 2 is because he hasn't provided anything to give as a gift back. Returning a gift is impossibly rude, even if he doesn't think he deserves it, especially not with how their last interaction went. ]
This is...far too much. I don't deserve such kindness, especially if you are not to join me for any of it.
[ It is his money after all. ]
At least...allow me to return the favor at some point.
[ He doesn't really understand that. Dodger hating him, knowing what he knows now, would be more logical to him, and yet he...persists by bringing gifts and offering genuine kindness. For Viktor, it does make his chest tighten painfully in a way he's only briefly felt while here. ]
[There's a long pause here. Both questions are... complicated, and he feels like it would be easier to speak than to put it into text. But he can't quite bring himself to switch over.]
i think there are realities out there where you exist, but everything about you is different. appearance, voice, actions. but it's still you. i get memory bleeds like that, where i don't recognize myself but i know it's me. and that makes it tough, thinking about arzial around you. and how much jayce and i have in common. but you're one of my best friends. and you're the first person i met here. that's hard to let go of.
i've seen a lot of realities. i always die before i turn 26. i'm turning 26 in two weeks. i don't know what that means in a place where death doesn't stick.
I have seen such things myself, created them, actually, as well. As...a mage or some sort of entity, what I exist as now, perhaps.
[ As an entity that existed outside of space and time, willingly subjecting himself and Jayce to multiple timelines, multiple realities, where their lives are always inexplicably intertwined. Doomed worlds that were only made so that he could piece together the puzzle and fix things that were his own fault. He never expected to live beyond his last moments with Jayce, but now that he's her,e he does wonder if the timeline back home still continues to rewrite itself over and over again.
But Arzial...the name makes his jaw tighten. He can say he hates the man all he wants, but he was once a similar man, even if it was out of his control, and he himself was being controlled. ]
Arzial...for what he has done to you, I cannot forgive it, and I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. To use one's powers willingly in such a manner... [ Viktor was horrified by his own actions, willing to die alone to rectify them even. ]
I'm glad you and Jayce are getting along. I sometimes wonder if he is...happy with me. He gave up everything to be with me for a reason I am still coming to terms with. Trying to accept and acknowledge it still. But it's good to see that he is finding others to spend his time with here.
[ Ah. So that's it, is it? Another dreary commonality shared between them. ]
There is always a factor that can break the cycle, finding it is the hard part, and perhaps being here is that factor for you. I was...not supposed to turn 33, but I am still here today, so take that as some comfort.
[It's far from comforting, but it is familiar. Dodger's experience with his memory-bleeds has led to him believing strongly in fate, and... even if he hasn't been able to access those other worlds, he can see the trends. He can see how often he ends up exactly where he is, how even if he manages to avoid Arzial he still tends to meet someone like him, and the same goes for other important people in his life.
Ironically, the thing he latches onto is the easiest thing for him to focus on.]
does it matter if he's happy? it's what he wants. it has to be worth it, or he wouldn't chase it.
[He's been stewing on something similar. His growing confusion over how many people have asked him if he likes how his life is going, and how people treat him. As if that has ever mattered.]
maybe it just means we'll both die as soon as we go home. reality reasserting itself and all that. the house is doing shit that shouldn't be possible, including keeping everyone alive.
It does matter to me. But perhaps you are right. Though I cannot say for certain if the thing he is chasing is worth it. If I...
[ am worth it is what he does not finish typing!! ]
There is no maybe for me. But the fact that I have a physical body at all is something of an intrigue to me. And you are right about that. The house as an entity is a fascinating subject of study. Being able to insert its influence into our timelines and pluck us from them, regardless of our state.
[ Well, the Mage had done that to Jayce, but it was with the aid of the anomaly. ]
[That is interesting... so many things about Viktor leave Dodger confused and intrigued. And it sure seems like Viktor is a lot more powerful than Arzial ever was. Concerning, deeply frightening... but maybe a good thing, that Viktor turned out so well in spite of all that power.
Maybe it's a good thing that he got his power later in life.]
maybe not worth it to you. but it's worth it to him. that's all i meant. we can debate the objective value of things as much as we want, but men do crazy shit for the things they care about. and the people.
look. i hurt a lot of people back home. i only really felt anything about a few of them. the rest were people i didn't know, and i had a reason to kill them. didn't really matter if it was a good one. you can't change the world without getting your hands dirty, right? we're both fucked up. and i don't think you'll do anything worse to me than anyone else has done. i'm just worried that i'm gonna hurt you if you come near me.
You are certainly not wrong about the 'doing crazy shit' for people they care about. [ Case and point, Jayce. But that's a conversation that he won't get into; it's perhaps better left for Jayce to tell Dodger what he has done to him in their past. ]
You think you are the only one to hurt people? I have done it to people I do care deeply for as well. Intentional or not. It is something that I have to contend with every day. You will not hurt me any more than anyone else has in my own world. [ Jayce. ] You are also not the most dangerous thing I have come face-to-face with and have attempted to help either.
[ Vander comes to mind quite easily... ]
But I will remain at a distance, if that is what you wish for. I will be here whenever you are ready to speak in person again. And even if it is just to speak about what is on your mind, I can perhaps offer an ear...or eyes, if we are to maintain this distance.
i don't know if i believe that last part. i'm the most dangerous thing in my world. i'm one of the most dangerous people here. but i'd like to think you can help me. you, jayce, or some combination.
[He's been doing better here than he ever was at home. Calm, comfortable, able to pull himself back the few times he's lost his temper or his nerve. And able to talk to Viktor at all, past the point where he feels like he'd normally be seeing red.
There was the incident with Esikko on Christmas, but that's... well, a backslide doesn't mean a complete lack of progress.]
i'll come visit you on my birthday. hopefully i'll be doing alright. and if not, i'll go talk to henry afterward.
[Not that Henry's really had to deal with Dodger's temper yet, but he finds the man calming, and that has to count for something.]
It is our sincerest desire to do just that. To help you. How have the newer versions of the potion been working for you? Is there any progress at all?
[ He's been making minor adjustments based on Dodger's feedback and what has and hasn't worked for him. But something Dodger types makes him curious. Henry...and not Esikko, hm. ]
You need not push yourself for me, especially on such a day. If you wish to visit, then we might perhaps go somewhere you feel comfortable. Henry? We have spoken in the past. I asked him if he would be able to make me some pieces for my...projects. But not Esikko? Interesting. I had thought you two were close, unless I am mistaken?
last time i used it, i still panicked. and i burnt henry. but... i don't know, it's getting somewhere. if you haven't talked to john doe, he might be able to give you some pointers.
[Granted, the fireproofing potion he got from John is much simpler than what he's asking Viktor to do. But he's fairly convinced John is able to make anything possible.]
fuck esikko.
it's complicated. it's been complicated for a while. i don't know. but, i've got henry. he's been keeping me sane lately. he's great, i'm sure whatever he makes for you is gonna be good.
Something more calming then. I will note that as well as speaking to John. We are...close so I will ask him his thoughts on the matter.
[ Perhaps they could make something together. But his eyebrow does raise at that. Words, they might be better, there is no denying the vehemence in the ones Dodger types out. ]
Complicated does not mean it's inherently bad. But without knowing the circumstances, I can't exactly say much more than that. I hope you two can figure it out.
[ Hm. ]
He seems honest and hardworking. I look forward to seeing the results of what he produces.
[He does briefly consider elaborating on exactly what's going on with Esikko. But... on top of being genuinely complicated, involving things Dodger barely understands himself, it also just... paints him in a really bad light. And he's already sick of hearing everyone talk about Esikko like he can't defend himself.]
if we can figure it out, viktor, i'm sure esikko and i will sooner or later. things are easier here than they were at home. for better or for worse.
honest and hard-working are good words for him. he's pretty great in bed, too. he's been teaching me how to blacksmith, or... i guess how to do more than just those metal charms.
Have we? Figured it out, I mean. But your willingness to do so is appreciated nonetheless. [ There's still many things left unsaid between them and the fact that meeting in person is still difficult doesn't exactly paint the picture of having things figured out. But Viktor is patient and will wait for when Dodger is ready. ]
I hope that you both do, regardless. He seemed to be quite important to you. It would be a shame if that were broken due to some unintentional argument caused by this place. [ But he is smiling softly on his end as he fiddles with the gear charm. ]
It was quite well made for your first time. You should also try asking Jayce. He is quite good with a forge, and it could allow you both to get closer too. I hope you two have...settled your differences since we all last spoke.
we WILL figure it out. you have to pick some things to believe in or you're just going to tie yourself into knots. and i'm choosing to believe you're still the person i've known since july. powers or not.
[It's a much bigger show of good faith than Dodger's used to, and he hopes Viktor can appreciate that. Maybe self-serving, because he mostly doesn't want to believe he's this bad a judge of character, but the logic doesn't matter if the end result is keeping his friendship going.
He is fully ignoring the second part of that, though, because he doesn't want to admit the argument was caused by Dodger screwing Esikko's crush after being told not to.]
jayce does smithing? i'll have to make sure he and henry meet then. and yeah, we're getting along better. he seemed... worried about me, after the last time i talked to you.
[Which Dodger still isn't entirely sure what to do with. At the time, he'd just assumed Jayce was being a guard dog again, but it seems like Jayce genuinely cares about Dodger's well-being. As much as he finds that deeply confusing.]
I do not doubt that with both of our tenacity towards facing and overcoming adversity, we will figure something out, beyond speaking like this. But I am still the same man you spoke with and will continue to be, that I am certain of.
[ But they'll get there when they get there. ]
It was intrinsic to his house name, Talis. His family crafted and created multipurpose tools for others to use, but the hammer is what they are most known for inventing. [ A smile forms on his lips. Nothing but affection in his stupid eyes as he reads that!! ]
That is good to hear. Jayce is very protective of— [ most notably him ] people he becomes close to. It is one of his more defining traits, I think. The fact that he wishes to help you and is worried about you is proof of this.
[It still sort of surprises him that Viktor thinks he faces things head-on. But he's flattered, that he gives that impression, and he's not about to correct him.]
then i've got an idea of something i might ask him for, but it can wait.
[More accurately, he sees an opportunity for Jayce to help Henry figure out the butterfly knife that Dodger's been wanting. Just in time for his birthday, too.]
he's got a hero's instincts. it used to piss me off, meeting people like that, but i'm coming around to it. and y'know, i can't fault him for being a loyal dog. i am one too.
for me. but if i tell you it's not gonna be exciting when i get my hands on it.
[It will certainly be exciting when Dodger starts doing butterfly knife tricks as a fidget again, though.]
hero instincts isn't just helping people. it's seeing shit that needs to get done and jumping in, without thinking about what'll happen to you. jumping in front of a car to save a dog, that sort of thing. or seeing a friend getting hurt, jumping in without a weapon and getting your ass beat.
[This is how Dodger differentiates himself from heroes. Because he does want to help, but only if it doesn't take anything from him.
[ Poor Dodger doesn't know Jayce's stance on weapons yet, so this might not go as planned!! ]
Inventing hextech was similar in the way you are explaining it. Inventing things to help others when magic was feared, attempting to show people that it could be used for good and could make a difference. Things that need to get done, and doing them no matter what happens to you. In that was it is something similar to heroics.
[ A pause as he ruminates. ]
Those who are willing to put others before themselves, to do great things, those are the heroes that many could benefit from.
it's not a split decision, though. that's all i meant.
[But maybe that's a moot point, because Viktor did lose his human form to advance science. That's probably more heroic than any example Dodger gave.]
putting others before themselves and doing great things aren't always the same thing. sometimes the path forward NEEDS a trail of blood. i don't think i was a good person back home, but i was doing something great. better than letting things stay the way they were, at least.
Does it? Need a trail of blood? I have gone down such a path, and it did not save anyone, nor was it the beginning of something great.
[ It also wasn't him directly but something parading around as him. But it had still used his dream and his all-consuming need to help others to do terrible things. ]
I tried to do something great back home, and it...brought nothing but suffering. And had I succeeded, there would have been nothing left.
[ Seas of endless solitude he had said. ]
I think there are better ways forward than with bloodshed. There is always a choice, of course, and I tend to try to choose the least violent one if possible.
if you're going to change the world, you can't ask for permission. people in power don't listen to petitions and sob stories. you need to rip out the infestation and cauterize the wound. you need to make an example out of people that push back.
[He knows this is a dicey thing to bring up to Viktor, even if he doesn't know the exact shape of Viktor's past. But more than anything, Dodger needs to believe this. He needs to believe that there is no other way, or he was just killing innocents and worsening the perception of mutants. Fuck that.]
violence isn't always avoidable. and sometimes it's a moral obligation. i'd rather have blood on my hands than stand by and politely ask the police to stop brutalizing my people.
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text // @dodger
happy birthday
do something fun with jayce tonight, tell me about it later
i want you to spend everything i just sent you.
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This is...far too much. I don't deserve such kindness, especially if you are not to join me for any of it.
[ It is his money after all. ]
At least...allow me to return the favor at some point.
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think of it like you're hotwifing.
[Ignoring that Viktor would be doing things with his actual partner, and... how weird that is to say anyway after their last interaction.]
my birthday's on the 16th.
you can send me something then.
assuming i'm still around, at least.
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[ He doesn't really understand that. Dodger hating him, knowing what he knows now, would be more logical to him, and yet he...persists by bringing gifts and offering genuine kindness. For Viktor, it does make his chest tighten painfully in a way he's only briefly felt while here. ]
Why would you not be?
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i think there are realities out there where you exist, but everything about you is different. appearance, voice, actions. but it's still you.
i get memory bleeds like that, where i don't recognize myself but i know it's me.
and that makes it tough, thinking about arzial around you.
and how much jayce and i have in common.
but you're one of my best friends. and you're the first person i met here.
that's hard to let go of.
i've seen a lot of realities.
i always die before i turn 26. i'm turning 26 in two weeks.
i don't know what that means in a place where death doesn't stick.
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[ As an entity that existed outside of space and time, willingly subjecting himself and Jayce to multiple timelines, multiple realities, where their lives are always inexplicably intertwined. Doomed worlds that were only made so that he could piece together the puzzle and fix things that were his own fault. He never expected to live beyond his last moments with Jayce, but now that he's her,e he does wonder if the timeline back home still continues to rewrite itself over and over again.
But Arzial...the name makes his jaw tighten. He can say he hates the man all he wants, but he was once a similar man, even if it was out of his control, and he himself was being controlled. ]
Arzial...for what he has done to you, I cannot forgive it, and I am sorry that you had to go through something like that. To use one's powers willingly in such a manner... [ Viktor was horrified by his own actions, willing to die alone to rectify them even. ]
I'm glad you and Jayce are getting along. I sometimes wonder if he is...happy with me. He gave up everything to be with me for a reason I am still coming to terms with. Trying to accept and acknowledge it still. But it's good to see that he is finding others to spend his time with here.
[ Ah. So that's it, is it? Another dreary commonality shared between them. ]
There is always a factor that can break the cycle, finding it is the hard part, and perhaps being here is that factor for you. I was...not supposed to turn 33, but I am still here today, so take that as some comfort.
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Ironically, the thing he latches onto is the easiest thing for him to focus on.]
does it matter if he's happy?
it's what he wants.
it has to be worth it, or he wouldn't chase it.
[He's been stewing on something similar. His growing confusion over how many people have asked him if he likes how his life is going, and how people treat him. As if that has ever mattered.]
maybe it just means we'll both die as soon as we go home.
reality reasserting itself and all that.
the house is doing shit that shouldn't be possible, including keeping everyone alive.
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But perhaps you are right.
Though I cannot say for certain if the thing he is chasing is worth it.
If I...
[ am worth it is what he does not finish typing!! ]
There is no maybe for me. But the fact that I have a physical body at all is something of an intrigue to me.
And you are right about that. The house as an entity is a fascinating subject of study.
Being able to insert its influence into our timelines and pluck us from them, regardless of our state.
[ Well, the Mage had done that to Jayce, but it was with the aid of the anomaly. ]
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Maybe it's a good thing that he got his power later in life.]
maybe not worth it to you. but it's worth it to him.
that's all i meant.
we can debate the objective value of things as much as we want, but men do crazy shit for the things they care about. and the people.
look.
i hurt a lot of people back home.
i only really felt anything about a few of them.
the rest were people i didn't know, and i had a reason to kill them. didn't really matter if it was a good one.
you can't change the world without getting your hands dirty, right?
we're both fucked up. and i don't think you'll do anything worse to me than anyone else has done.
i'm just worried that i'm gonna hurt you if you come near me.
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You think you are the only one to hurt people? I have done it to people I do care deeply for as well.
Intentional or not. It is something that I have to contend with every day.
You will not hurt me any more than anyone else has in my own world. [ Jayce. ]
You are also not the most dangerous thing I have come face-to-face with and have attempted to help either.
[ Vander comes to mind quite easily... ]
But I will remain at a distance, if that is what you wish for. I will be here whenever you are ready to speak in person again. And even if it is just to speak about what is on your mind, I can perhaps offer an ear...or eyes, if we are to maintain this distance.
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i'm the most dangerous thing in my world.
i'm one of the most dangerous people here.
but i'd like to think you can help me.
you, jayce, or some combination.
[He's been doing better here than he ever was at home. Calm, comfortable, able to pull himself back the few times he's lost his temper or his nerve. And able to talk to Viktor at all, past the point where he feels like he'd normally be seeing red.
There was the incident with Esikko on Christmas, but that's... well, a backslide doesn't mean a complete lack of progress.]
i'll come visit you on my birthday.
hopefully i'll be doing alright.
and if not, i'll go talk to henry afterward.
[Not that Henry's really had to deal with Dodger's temper yet, but he finds the man calming, and that has to count for something.]
no subject
How have the newer versions of the potion been working for you? Is there any progress at all?
[ He's been making minor adjustments based on Dodger's feedback and what has and hasn't worked for him. But something Dodger types makes him curious. Henry...and not Esikko, hm. ]
You need not push yourself for me, especially on such a day. If you wish to visit, then we might perhaps go somewhere you feel comfortable.
Henry? We have spoken in the past. I asked him if he would be able to make me some pieces for my...projects.
But not Esikko? Interesting. I had thought you two were close, unless I am mistaken?
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if you haven't talked to john doe, he might be able to give you some pointers.
[Granted, the fireproofing potion he got from John is much simpler than what he's asking Viktor to do. But he's fairly convinced John is able to make anything possible.]
fuck esikko.
it's complicated.
it's been complicated for a while.
i don't know.
but, i've got henry. he's been keeping me sane lately.
he's great, i'm sure whatever he makes for you is gonna be good.
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[ Perhaps they could make something together. But his eyebrow does raise at that. Words, they might be better, there is no denying the vehemence in the ones Dodger types out. ]
Complicated does not mean it's inherently bad.
But without knowing the circumstances, I can't exactly say much more than that.
I hope you two can figure it out.
[ Hm. ]
He seems honest and hardworking. I look forward to seeing the results of what he produces.
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if we can figure it out, viktor, i'm sure esikko and i will sooner or later.
things are easier here than they were at home.
for better or for worse.
honest and hard-working are good words for him.
he's pretty great in bed, too.
he's been teaching me how to blacksmith, or... i guess how to do more than just those metal charms.
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I hope that you both do, regardless. He seemed to be quite important to you. It would be a shame if that were broken due to some unintentional argument caused by this place. [ But he is smiling softly on his end as he fiddles with the gear charm. ]
It was quite well made for your first time. You should also try asking Jayce. He is quite good with a forge, and it could allow you both to get closer too. I hope you two have...settled your differences since we all last spoke.
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you have to pick some things to believe in or you're just going to tie yourself into knots.
and i'm choosing to believe you're still the person i've known since july.
powers or not.
[It's a much bigger show of good faith than Dodger's used to, and he hopes Viktor can appreciate that. Maybe self-serving, because he mostly doesn't want to believe he's this bad a judge of character, but the logic doesn't matter if the end result is keeping his friendship going.
He is fully ignoring the second part of that, though, because he doesn't want to admit the argument was caused by Dodger screwing Esikko's crush after being told not to.]
jayce does smithing?
i'll have to make sure he and henry meet then.
and yeah, we're getting along better.
he seemed... worried about me, after the last time i talked to you.
[Which Dodger still isn't entirely sure what to do with. At the time, he'd just assumed Jayce was being a guard dog again, but it seems like Jayce genuinely cares about Dodger's well-being. As much as he finds that deeply confusing.]
no subject
But I am still the same man you spoke with and will continue to be, that I am certain of.
[ But they'll get there when they get there. ]
It was intrinsic to his house name, Talis. His family crafted and created multipurpose tools for others to use, but the hammer is what they are most known for inventing. [ A smile forms on his lips. Nothing but affection in his stupid eyes as he reads that!! ]
That is good to hear. Jayce is very protective of— [ most notably him ] people he becomes close to. It is one of his more defining traits, I think. The fact that he wishes to help you and is worried about you is proof of this.
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then i've got an idea of something i might ask him for, but it can wait.
[More accurately, he sees an opportunity for Jayce to help Henry figure out the butterfly knife that Dodger's been wanting. Just in time for his birthday, too.]
he's got a hero's instincts.
it used to piss me off, meeting people like that, but i'm coming around to it.
and y'know, i can't fault him for being a loyal dog.
i am one too.
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So lucky for me to have two that I can call on.
[ Viktor stop. ]
A hero's instincts...yes I think that is appropriate for him. After all our dream was to help and save people with hextech.
[ But Jayce had also saved him in more ways than one. ]
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but if i tell you it's not gonna be exciting when i get my hands on it.
[It will certainly be exciting when Dodger starts doing butterfly knife tricks as a fidget again, though.]
hero instincts isn't just helping people.
it's seeing shit that needs to get done and jumping in, without thinking about what'll happen to you.
jumping in front of a car to save a dog, that sort of thing.
or seeing a friend getting hurt, jumping in without a weapon and getting your ass beat.
[This is how Dodger differentiates himself from heroes. Because he does want to help, but only if it doesn't take anything from him.
Usually.]
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[ Poor Dodger doesn't know Jayce's stance on weapons yet, so this might not go as planned!! ]
Inventing hextech was similar in the way you are explaining it.
Inventing things to help others when magic was feared, attempting to show people that it could be used for good and could make a difference.
Things that need to get done, and doing them no matter what happens to you.
In that was it is something similar to heroics.
[ A pause as he ruminates. ]
Those who are willing to put others before themselves, to do great things, those are the heroes that many could benefit from.
no subject
that's all i meant.
[But maybe that's a moot point, because Viktor did lose his human form to advance science. That's probably more heroic than any example Dodger gave.]
putting others before themselves and doing great things aren't always the same thing.
sometimes the path forward NEEDS a trail of blood.
i don't think i was a good person back home, but i was doing something great.
better than letting things stay the way they were, at least.
no subject
I have gone down such a path, and it did not save anyone, nor was it the beginning of something great.
[ It also wasn't him directly but something parading around as him. But it had still used his dream and his all-consuming need to help others to do terrible things. ]
I tried to do something great back home, and it...brought nothing but suffering. And had I succeeded, there would have been nothing left.
[ Seas of endless solitude he had said. ]
I think there are better ways forward than with bloodshed. There is always a choice, of course, and I tend to try to choose the least violent one if possible.
no subject
people in power don't listen to petitions and sob stories.
you need to rip out the infestation and cauterize the wound.
you need to make an example out of people that push back.
[He knows this is a dicey thing to bring up to Viktor, even if he doesn't know the exact shape of Viktor's past. But more than anything, Dodger needs to believe this. He needs to believe that there is no other way, or he was just killing innocents and worsening the perception of mutants. Fuck that.]
violence isn't always avoidable.
and sometimes it's a moral obligation.
i'd rather have blood on my hands than stand by and politely ask the police to stop brutalizing my people.
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