[ He notices the look away, but it's a thought, an observation, for another time. He'll let Viktor have it for now, since the conversation could alter everything about how they interact with each other here. It matters to him that this time he gives Viktor the agency. He lets him decide. Finally, he finishes strapping in the final strap on Viktor's thigh, then a gentle tap to signal that he's done.
He gets up, finally, shifting to move into a chair so they can talk without being next to each other. Intentionally creating a space, a bubble, around Viktor. Room to breathe and process. For every impulse he has to smother Viktor with affection, it's challenging for him to not do it. He's going to be as concise as possible about this entire series of events, he thinks. He wants to ensure that he gives the story without any fluffy details. ]
After your prognosis, we searched and searched for a cure. A way to help you and heal you. Anything we could do to help. It wasn't going well, and Heimerdinger tried to stop us at every turn. He tried to use his power on the Council to put our work to a stop.
[ He folds his hands and settles them into his lap. This is the first big revelation. ]
So I -- forced him into retirement. I took it from him. [ For Viktor. ] I won us freedom but it didn't matter because things spiraled after that. You sought out help in the Undercity.
[ They had fought about it. He doesn't mention that to Viktor, though. He doesn't think he needs to - they know each other well enough for Viktor to know Jayce had some intense feelings about it without saying anything. ]
I -- there's some things I don't know exactly what happened. But you tried to use the Hexcore. And I wasn't there. I was busy. I was always busy. I went to the Undercity with Cait's -- [ What even is Vi to her? ] Someone important to Cait - Vi. We went there to seek out Silco. It wasn't pretty, either. I killed someone - a child there.
[ It still haunts him. He hesitates to continue. ]
I saw what could happen. When I returned home to you, you made me promise to destroy the Hexcore. You didn't want me to use it anymore in pursuit of healing you. And I promised you I would. I didn't want to. But I did. [ A hesitation. ]
So instead, I reached out to meet with Silco. I reached out to broker peace with him. And we put it before the council. Oh, they hated it. But we were going to get it -- and I swear -- I thought that day that the fighting might end. We might be able to free Zaun. We were so close.
But then -- Jinx. She [ An exhale. A pause. He grips his legs with his hands and looks up to Viktor again. His eyes locked onto the other's face. Watching him. It's clear that this was the moment. ] the Council Room got blown away. Turned to rubble. Mel -- Mel saved me but you. She has magic, you know? She put up a shield around me. You weren't so lucky. It should have been me. If she had saved you instead of me. [ He wishes it were him. It should have been him. ]
You were bleeding out in my arms, Viktor. And then the thought of the little time you had left being cut even shorter. It wasn't acceptable. So instead of destroying the Hexcore. [ And here it is. ] I used it on you with the help of your notes. And I waited. And I waited and I hoped more than anything that you would come back to me -- us. [ He doesn't even try to hide the selfish nature of it. ]
And you did. But you were different. You were so different. And you weren't happy with me...I mean, obviously. I broke a pretty big promise. [ He doesn't mention Skye's death because honestly -- he doesn't want to give Viktor guilt over it. Jayce doesn't blame him for it, anyway. ] So you left.
[ And he'll stop, give Viktor time to process this - it's a lot of new information, after all. And it's not just about his ability to follow a story, but it's a lot to emotionally process, as well. ]
no subject
He gets up, finally, shifting to move into a chair so they can talk without being next to each other. Intentionally creating a space, a bubble, around Viktor. Room to breathe and process. For every impulse he has to smother Viktor with affection, it's challenging for him to not do it. He's going to be as concise as possible about this entire series of events, he thinks. He wants to ensure that he gives the story without any fluffy details. ]
After your prognosis, we searched and searched for a cure. A way to help you and heal you. Anything we could do to help. It wasn't going well, and Heimerdinger tried to stop us at every turn. He tried to use his power on the Council to put our work to a stop.
[ He folds his hands and settles them into his lap. This is the first big revelation. ]
So I -- forced him into retirement. I took it from him. [ For Viktor. ] I won us freedom but it didn't matter because things spiraled after that. You sought out help in the Undercity.
[ They had fought about it. He doesn't mention that to Viktor, though. He doesn't think he needs to - they know each other well enough for Viktor to know Jayce had some intense feelings about it without saying anything. ]
I -- there's some things I don't know exactly what happened. But you tried to use the Hexcore. And I wasn't there. I was busy. I was always busy. I went to the Undercity with Cait's -- [ What even is Vi to her? ] Someone important to Cait - Vi. We went there to seek out Silco. It wasn't pretty, either. I killed someone - a child there.
[ It still haunts him. He hesitates to continue. ]
I saw what could happen. When I returned home to you, you made me promise to destroy the Hexcore. You didn't want me to use it anymore in pursuit of healing you. And I promised you I would. I didn't want to. But I did. [ A hesitation. ]
So instead, I reached out to meet with Silco. I reached out to broker peace with him. And we put it before the council. Oh, they hated it. But we were going to get it -- and I swear -- I thought that day that the fighting might end. We might be able to free Zaun. We were so close.
But then -- Jinx. She [ An exhale. A pause. He grips his legs with his hands and looks up to Viktor again. His eyes locked onto the other's face. Watching him. It's clear that this was the moment. ] the Council Room got blown away. Turned to rubble. Mel -- Mel saved me but you. She has magic, you know? She put up a shield around me. You weren't so lucky. It should have been me. If she had saved you instead of me. [ He wishes it were him. It should have been him. ]
You were bleeding out in my arms, Viktor. And then the thought of the little time you had left being cut even shorter. It wasn't acceptable. So instead of destroying the Hexcore. [ And here it is. ] I used it on you with the help of your notes. And I waited. And I waited and I hoped more than anything that you would come back to me -- us. [ He doesn't even try to hide the selfish nature of it. ]
And you did. But you were different. You were so different. And you weren't happy with me...I mean, obviously. I broke a pretty big promise. [ He doesn't mention Skye's death because honestly -- he doesn't want to give Viktor guilt over it. Jayce doesn't blame him for it, anyway. ] So you left.
[ And he'll stop, give Viktor time to process this - it's a lot of new information, after all. And it's not just about his ability to follow a story, but it's a lot to emotionally process, as well. ]